who we were or who we are?

in the past couple months, i've ran into 4 different people at church from my past. these are people that came to broadway avenue baptist church when my dad was still the pastor and pastor love was our youth pastor. when the auditorium faced east/west and the pulpit was on the east side. i'm always taken by surprise to run into people from the past, but i really shouldn't be. i think as we get older, we are always looking backwards to find something to identify with. when we're young we are just who we are. who we want to be. no stress. no cares. no responsibilities. when we grow up we change, mostly because it's expected. sometimes it's the people around us that expect the most, that we find ourselves changing for. eventually we are something different. that change isn't always bad, unless we begin to change against our better judgement. if we begin to uproot our souls. if we begin to chase the things of the world. other people's approval. job promotions. or maybe we compromise just a little at at time. maybe we become something for someone else because we are insecure. whatever the reason....we change. then one day we find ourselves at a turning point. things don't turn out as we planned. we stop and ask ourselves how we got here and then? we look back. we start trying desperately to find something to identify with. something or someone we can find our old selves in again. reconnect with the things in our past that help us to regain some of that person we used to be. so i get it. i understand why the church is that for so many people. it was that for me. it was what i feared the most and needed the most all at the same time. coming back to broadway was so hard for me because of the people i'd let down and hurt. yet it was the foundation that never moved. the people continued to love and the doors continued to be open. just as they should. as i came back to the Lord i had to figure out how i would become the person i was created to be and never have to look back again. i came up with a bit of a metaphor that makes sense to me. my relationship with God is grown through his Word and prayer. think of it like my wedding ring. my ring has what's called a pressure setting. two sides press firmly to suspend the diamond. i'm the diamond (i like this part of the metaphor)....and the two sides are God's word and prayer. there must be constant pressure. the relationship of the three are inseparable. if there is any kind of loosening, the diamond is in danger of falling out. possibly being lost forever. that's how i feel. if i don't spend time with the Lord in study and prayer, i'm jeopardizing my spiritual life. when they are loose and faulty and inconsistent, i become the same. luckily, unlike my ring, tightening the pressure in our spiritual lives is all up to us and relatively easy. it takes discipline and desire. if those are not things you think you possess, God will give them to you as you spend time with him. as our pastor has been saying over the last couple months, we are new creations. all things passed away, all things become new. so do what you have to do to find that new creation, for the first time, or once again. but find it and hold tightly and never look back again.